the state we're in

This little button-up shirt was a gift from my parents that hung in Conley’s closet for over a year before he was ready to wear it. It was positively huge when we first got it and I was sure no child of ours would ever fit in it. (2T?! As if!) But here’s our now-giant two year old sporting his handsome button-up. Every time he wears it, I think he looks so much like my granddad, the original Conley, especially when it’s paired with khaki pants and white tennis shoes.

So here’s handsome, tiny Conley, the namesake, making his mama so proud.

 

(This happened when Kendrick asked him to put his hands on his hips.)

This is the story of Henry’s beautiful birth and a picture of God’s grace. If the word “placenta” makes you feel squicky or bored, please move on.

My pregnancy with Henry was not quite as blissful as with Conley, but it was pretty close. Even at the very end when people were throwing pity parties for me right and left, I still felt really good. I know I was big as a house—partly due to Henry’s size, partly due to my (lack of) height, and partly due to the fact that I don’t eat salad—but I felt good. So I’ll just jump into the story on Monday, 10/22, seven days after my due date and four days before his birthday, Friday, 10/26.

 

Monday, 10/22

The midwives ordered a sonogram to make sure all was well. Henry looked great and still had plenty of fluid around him. Size is so hard to judge at the end, but their best guess was 9.5 lbs, which sounded reasonable to me considering Conley’s birth weight. They monitored me for about 20 minutes and I watched Henry’s heart rate. There was another line below that one and I didn’t know what it was. For most of the time, it was in the single digits, but then every now and then it would jump up to 75 or so. When the nurse came in, she asked if I was feeling my contractions! Duh!

I feel like everyone describes those early contractions as a tightening of your whole tummy, but I didn’t feel them that way. To me, they just felt like pms cramps, and they weren’t all over my tummy. Once I knew that those were contractions, I started identifying them more. I had 3 or 4 in the 20 minutes of monitoring and they continued after that every 5 or 6 minutes or so. But they were still very brief and mild, and easy to ignore or miss altogether. I knew that could go on for days.

 

Wednesday, 10/24

Nine days late. A friend of mine suggested I try rubbing castor oil on my feet. I’ve heard of drinking it and knew I wasn’t that desperate, but I figured I’d give it a try on my feet. Couldn’t hurt.

 

Thursday, 10/25

Castor oil myth debunked!

Had my weekly midwife appointment with Candis and I was measuring a 4! I was thrilled because I still hadn’t had any pain to speak of. I decided to let her strip my membranes (separates the amniotic sac from the wall of the uterus and can induce contractions). The cramping became harder to ignore, but still nothing to complain about.

Candis said I would either need to be induced Monday or have another sonogram. After talking with Jamie, our doula, I called Obstetrix the next morning and scheduled a sono for Monday, but she thought it was a pointless exercise—after hearing about my appointment, she guessed something would happen in the next 24 hours.

We went to Café Brazil for dinner to satisfy my never-ending pancake craving. It was freezing outside and I was feeling silly and updating Kendrick each time I felt a new contraction. We were full of anticipation, if not confidence.

 

Friday, 10/26

10:00am
Sent a text to Kendrick at work that my contractions were getting stronger. He said he could come home after lunch if I needed him. I told him to tentatively work toward that goal.

12:00pm
Text to K – “Contractions are erratic. I think we still have time.”

 
(Last day with my only baby.)

4:00pm
Text to K – “Any chance you could sneak out a little early?” At this point, I was feeling more desperate than my texting tone implied. Probably should have made that clear at the time. He left at 4:15 and my mental math put him home by 5:30 at the absolute latest—probably sooner.

5:30pm
I am getting really antsy and really annoyed. The contractions are manageable, but clearly increasing in intensity, and trying to focus on Conley in the midst of it was starting to overwhelm me. I was getting emotional.

5:40pm
Text from K – “Stopped at Walgreens to pick up candy for the photographer.” REALLY?! “Just please hurry.” I gritted my teeth and cursed in my head.

Shortly after Kendrick got home, we made the decision to call Jamie and let her know we probably needed her. That call always feels like a giant guess, but I’m glad we did. She and Lynsey, our photographer, arrived maybe around 7:00 – 7:30 or so. At this point, I knew I was definitely *in labor*, but I was still able to work through the contractions really well and was happily talking in between. Sweet Conley was clueless, and probably a bit confused, but he put on a big show for our company, rolling around like a madman in his puppy pajamas on our bed. Kendrick’s mom came to pick him up for us around 8:00pm.

Not long after, I asked Jamie when it was time to think about the hospital. Our perspective was so skewed after Conley’s days-long labor that it was hard to imagine that it could already be time—I was mostly just looking for someone to tell me what the next step was. She said it was time though, and judging by the look on her face, I could tell she knew something I didn’t. What I know now is that Jamie was worried we didn’t understand how quickly labor seemed to be moving.

And she was right. We checked into the hospital at 9pm and Summer was the midwife on call. She checked me and declared that I was 9cm dilated! What the what?! I don’t think I can even put into words how shocked I was. Anticipating a surprise, our photographer was videotaping the moment and captured my mouth dropping open, eyes bugging out, and me telling Summer to “SHUT UP.” It was truly unbelievable. To give you an idea of how relatively comfortable I was, I called Obstetrix from the car on the way to the hospital to cancel Monday’s sonogram. Now that is presence of mind!

I was thrilled when we checked in to hear that the suite of rooms with the big birthing tub was open, and after Summer checked me I was able to jump right in. It was uh-mazing! The water felt so good and Jamie held the sprayer on my back. At one point, I remember telling her I felt like I was at the spa! I was still chatting in between contractions and was giddy from the 9cm news. I was having a good time! (I can hardly believe the craziness of this story! God is so good!)

I’d guess we hit transition about a half hour after I got in the water (goodbye, spa day!) and that’s when things go fuzzy for me. Faceless nurses came and went; words were spoken but I couldn’t discern them—things had gotten intense. Kendrick taped the Scripture cards I’d made to the side of the tub and Summer prayed over me as I labored. I tear up just thinking about the sweet support I had. I think I had to push for about 45 minutes or so, and let me tell you, whoever called water nature’s epidural has never had science’s epidural because there is no comparison! But still—an hour or so of pain and screaming (and oh, there was screaming) doesn’t seem like much to complain about.

At the very end, Henry’s big, man-sized shoulders got stuck. His head had been out for a minute or so when Summer had to ask me to stand up in the tub so she could pull the rest of his giant body out. I hated that and felt so sure that I was going to fall head first out of the tub, but I didn’t, and I’m so thankful that Summer knew just what to do.

11:03pm
Henry emerged! They helped me sit back down in the tub and I cuddled him victoriously against my chest. The pain was real and raw and fresh, but still so much smaller than the elation and wonder and awe that I felt. Summer waited for the cord to stop pulsing and then gave the scissors to Kendrick to cut. They led me to the bed where she delivered the placenta and quickly stitched up my second degree tear. The nurses checked Henry over.

I think Kendrick and I were the only ones in the room who weren’t clued into the fact that this was a huge baby, but I thought it was a joke when they told us he was 11 lbs 13.6 oz. It literally just wasn’t computing in my head. I can’t say which moment was a bigger shock—hearing I was 9cm dilated or hearing how much he weighed.

The whole story still makes me shake my head in disbelief. I couldn’t have fathomed this after the long, drawn out labor I had with Conley. Until it happened, I wasn’t sure if God would be so good as to bless me with the water birth I longed for two years ago, or if I would have the fortitude to do it without drugs. But God is and was exceedingly, abundantly, overwhelmingly good, and gives the BEST gifts to his kids.

Unlike Conley’s birth, when both our families camped out overnight in the waiting room for his arrival, we were alone at the hospital when Henry was born. Alisa was able to come meet him late Friday night for a bit, and everyone else trickled in as soon as they could in the next couple days. My brother and sister even drove 13 hours each way to surprise us(!) and meet our sweet boy. What precious memories!

Henry, your birth was a miracle in so many ways. I am still praising God for your precious life and for the amazing way you entered the world. I know I couldn’t have it done in my strength—God’s gracious hand brought you into the world, and it was my privilege to share the start of your story. You are already so loved, you special tiny boy!

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:26

Shut the front door, I am catching up on this blog! A few four month developments:

• Dropped the swaddle! What?! If you’ll recall, we were still elaborately swaddling Conley at 8 months, so it was a real victory to drop Henry’s at four.
• The dropped swaddle led to some big leaps in naps and night times! Because Sweetpea could find his fingers, he suddenly was able to soothe himself through sleep transitions much easier. He gave me a full week of sleeping through the night, followed by a week or so of waking up, and then another week of STTN…followed by waking up again the past couple nights! Not sure what’s going on with that pattern, but I’ll take what I can get.
• He’s refined his finger sucking technique and is showing a clear preference for the first two fingers on his left hand—just like his big brother! This is a source of *much* consternation for Kendrick, but as the beneficiary of better sleep, I’m practically shoving them in his mouth for him.

• Dropped his dreamfeed. This was just on a lark since he was doing so well without his swaddle, and it worked! Sleeping through the night now means that I feed him at 7:00pm (or so), bedtime around 8:00-ish, and he wakes up at 7:30am (or so).
• Just started rolling front to back. He’s a couple months behind Conley on this, but he also got a late start on tummy time because of his shoulder dystocia and broken collarbone.
• He’s a squealer! When the mood strikes (usually right after he’s eaten), Henry really gets going with shrieks and squeals. It’s impossible not to laugh, even when it’s totally disruptive! Apparently, Kendrick’s sister Lauren was quite the squealer when she was tiny, too. It’s an awfully endearing trait!
• I was just reading through an old blog post about Conley and how insistent he was on meals. Despite his size, Henry is much more laid back about it and could probably sail through a mealtime if I weren’t there to remind him. This has got to be another Arnett trait coming out!
• Found his feet. Loves them.

Stats
Weight: 20 lbs
Length: 28” (they didn’t give me a number for his percentages, they just pointed to his dots floating way above the lines on the graph)

  

(Love the big brother photobomb.)

Sweet Henry Dumpling,

You are so much to love. I love that about you.

Mama

  

We thought it would be a good idea to pack up and move two weeks after Henry was born (THANK GOD FOR OUR AMAZING FAMILIES—I cannot shout that loudly enough), so to say we didn’t have our act together enough for a one month photo shoot would be an understatement. Still, I thought I’d post a couple snapshots I took with my phone, just to document some early smiles (at almost one month):

 

…and Henry’s first Thanksgiving:

Oh, those turkeys. <3

By two months, he was really cranking out the smiles. My camera phone (aka Henry’s Second Mother) just eats them up!

 

This was a delayed two month shoot, but a good start all the same.

 

I mean, have you ever wanted to snuggle anything so hard before in your life?!

Stats
Weight: 16 lbs 15 oz (95%)
Length: 24.5” (85%)

Before I talk about our big boy turning two (two!), I figured I should acknowledge the fact that we have a four month old on our hands now. Oh, poor, sweet, second born Henry. I still have “lofty” goals of updating once a month for his first year of life. Starting…now! (Obvs.)

Henry Denton Arnett
Born in the water on Friday, October 26, 2012 at 11:03pm
Weighing 11 lbs 13.6 oz
Length 21.75” (or so – that particular stat is a bit fuzzy)

Unlike Conley, whose name we arrived at quite neatly, Henry took an awfully long time to settle on. Conley felt like such a slam dunk and we didn’t really have any “Plan B” names for boys. I don’t think we picked Henry’s name out until just a couple weeks before he was born (thank goodness he came late). I have always loved the name Henry but didn’t consider it seriously because I was afraid he’d be in a classroom full of Henrys growing up. But in the end, we decided who cares how popular it is; we liked it.

And we knew we wanted to work a family name in again somehow. I think there’s something special about a name with roots and I wanted both our boys to feel connected to our family and their heritage. So Denton was Kendrick’s maternal grandfather’s first name. He passed away too soon when Kendrick was just a baby, but I’ve enjoyed the stories of this man of adventure and integrity, two qualities we’d love to see in our sweet Henry.

“Sweet” being the operative word because holy babycakes, this child is good natured. Henry is that dangerous brand of baby who makes you think that having another one is a good idea. Yes, we’ve had a few fussy days here and there, and he doesn’t *always* sleep like the dead, but in general, Henry is laid back and happy to be alive. (No wonder he was 11 days late.) When he cries, it’s because he’s sleepy, hungry, or maybe has a little gas in his tummy (although that’s gotten much better since I’ve cut down on my dairy). So you fix the problem and he’s content again! Parents of easy babies may give a big DUH! when I say that, but I can still remember early days with Conley, driving all over town, looking for the bumpiest roads I could find, in a desperate attempt to calm him down—to no avail. But Henry seems much easier to please and much more content, even in his tininess. And maybe our experience makes us a little better at deciphering his cues. Sometimes I think he just hangs out waiting for someone to make eye contact with him so he can smile and communicate. What a precious delight!

Henry, you are a gem, and such a gift to our family. The Lord knew just what we needed when he created you and gave you to us. You are already sweet, already fun, and already so incredibly loved, and we can’t wait to learn you more as your personality makes itself known. We’re so thankful for our darling little angel baby!

Of, say, 3 months? I just realized I never posted any photos of our Mother’s Day and I can’t believe it! We had a beautiful day celebrating with both our families. Brunch at Salsa Fuego with my parents and dinner at Woodshed with Kendrick’s mom and sister (sadly missing Keith, who was celebrating with his own sweet mom). I’ll just let the photos speak for themselves and suffice it to say that I am so, so blessed to have such wonderful moms in my life, and to BE a mom to this sweet, precious, fun-loving guy (still sort of unbelievable)!

This is the photo we used to tell our families that something was brewing. Now, if you’re a blog reader then you’ve probably long-known the news, but just in case, let me spell it out since the photo led to mostly confused expressions and hesitant questions from our folks: we’ve got Baby #2 on the way. Or, as we’re affectionately referring to him, Baby A(b). The little guy is due in mid-October (specifically, October 15, which would make for 3 very excited, birthday-sharing relatives), which puts me about 22 weeks along the way. Here’s how we found out he was a “he.”

I didn’t have my first appointment with our midwives until about 15 weeks along, which is when I accidentally found out the gender. I say “accidentally” because it wasn’t our “official” sono. I mentioned that Kendrick probably couldn’t make too many appointments this time around because he’s now working in Dallas, so the midwife was just going to take a couple shots on their ancient sonogram machine so I could take a photo to Kendrick. All of a sudden, the unmistakable evidence floated across the screen! I think I’m actually the one who made the call, but I had seen that image before. She cautioned me not to shout it from the rooftops yet as she’s not a sonographer and couldn’t be 100% sure, but the photographic evidence was hard to deny, and 5 weeks later the news was “officially” confirmed. I was thinking it might be a boy because the pregnancy has been (mostly) just like my first. I was also not-so-secretly hoping to give Conley a little brother, so I’m thrilled.

While physically this pregnancy has been very similar, emotionally, it’s been a completely different experience. You may have noticed the complete dearth of timely announcements, belly shots, fruit comparisons, etc. Poor Baby A(b). Being pregnant with Conley was an utterly consuming thing–slightly moreso for me than Kendrick, naturally, but to an extent for him, too. And besides, what else did we have to do but obsess over the tiny human growing in my body? But life with a toddler definitely shifts your focus and it wasn’t until recently that we could both say we don’t forget I’m pregnant anymore.

So apologies to sweetest Baby A(b). (I promise you, if Conley ever gets a baby book, you will, too!) Sweet littlest, we do love you already and are getting more and more excited about your arrival as my tummy grows and reality sets in. Just the other night, your dad was able to feel you kick for the first time. What an exciting moment that was! Your big brother takes up a lot of our attention, but pretty soon, you’ll be much more demanding of that attention, too–and we’ll be only too happy to share. Conley doesn’t really understand what all this “baby brother” talk is about yet, but I know you’re hitting the big brother jackpot, and you’re going to have stars and hearts in your eyes for each other. We can’t wait to see the two of you together, and we can’t wait to meet you and be a family of four. So just hang out for a few more months. Grow well (but not too much!), and be gentle on me when the time comes. Lots of love to our favorite tiniest boy. See you super soon. <3

Anyone paying a lick of attention to the last post might have noticed the major shag Conley had going on up top. We’d just let his hair grow because, as Kendrick noted, it’s not like he had an interview or anything. But it had gotten pretty long and stringy and we started collecting the “she’s” on our trip to Minnesota, so we figured it was time to bite the Cool Cuts bullet.

Before

During

After

He did great and loved his yellow taxi. I was a little sad to see those baby curls in the back fall to the floor, but I can’t get over how handsome he looks with his new, big boy cut. I mean, come on—that face! </sigh>

Some of our favorite friends invited us up north to celebrate a long birthday weekend and we were only too happy to oblige. As our visit was a surprise for C’s birthday, S went to great lengths to prepare for us while hiding everything from borrowed double strollers to secret grocery missions from C. It was a lot of preparation and planning on S’s part, but she pulled it off beautifully. She couldn’t have made it easier for us to make the trip and C was completely surprised to see us emerge from the airport doors. So fun.

 

“Who’s driving this thing??”

The photos paint a giddy picture, but in full disclosure, the first 24 hours or so of vacation were pretty brutal. Conley had been a little under the weather the week before the trip and I guess we pushed it too hard because he was EXHAUSTED by travel day. The flight up was an epic disaster, save the incredibly understanding and helpful gal in the seat next to me. She was traveling with an angelic 4 month old (that’s right—5 of us in a row for 3) and kept funneling his toys in our direction. Poor Conley was just in no mood to be pacified.

We had a rough first night with little sleep and he struggled (as did Kendrick and I) to be happy on Friday with our friends. Vacation outlook was getting a little bleak.

 

But Friday evening, we made the trip from Minneapolis to our friends’ family cabin in Wisconsin, and it was just what the doctor ordered. Conley slept hard in his pack-n-play in the bathroom that night and woke up a new (and improved) baby. He napped for a collective 6 hours the following day and couldn’t have been happier. I’m not sure he cried the rest of the time we were there—I guess he was so happy to feel like himself again, not to mention to have two of the sweetest playmates a little guy could ask for.

  

We were delirious to have our happy guy back and couldn’t get enough of watching these cuties play together. B and A, Conley is already missing your company in a big way!

The graceful dismount…

I got this!

We went out on the boat on a chilly, misty Sunday morning. It was stunningly beautiful and such an out-of-the-ordinary treat for the three of us.

  

The day before we flew back home, we were able to stop and see Kendrick’s Uncle Brett who lives in Minneapolis. We haven’t seen him since our wedding nearly 6 years ago, so it was really special to have a little time with him. And Conley was his delightful, entertaining self. I’m so glad we could work it out to get together (again, thanks to the generosity of our friends who loaned us their car)!

We owe a HUGE THANK YOU to C, S, B & A for their overwhelming hospitality and generosity (and S’s parents for graciously sharing their cabin retreat with us). We had the best time visiting your new neck of the woods! It was such a gift to be able to catch up with you, see our precious babies together, laugh, relax, and eat ourselves silly. Thank you for everything. We’ll treasure the memories.