the state we're in

I did it again!  Sure is tough for me to get these up in a timely manner.  But here we are, five and a half months into this cute, little life, with so much to say!  From my perspective, there have been some big, exciting developments in the last month!, but I fully realize that these musings and observations are basically just mommy-navel gazing, so as always, I’ve included photos for anyone who couldn’t care less what my baby ate for dinner.  Here are the things we’re excited about around here.

Road tripping!  I’m happy to report that our little guy finally earned that Road Warrior merit badge he’d been working on.  A few weeks ago, we decided to brave the 8 hour trip to the Oklahoma panhandle to visit Kendrick’s grandparents.  We left Fort Worth around 6pm with the intention of getting a hotel around the halfway mark, but Conley surprised us by falling asleep at 9pm and, with him sleeping happily in back and hotels being surprisingly hard to come by (the It’ll Do Motel would decidedly not do), we pressed on and finished the drive in the early morning hours.  He slept until we arrived at 2:30am, at which point he happily greeted family and went quickly back to sleep!  (Big thanks to Conley’s Nala (Kendrick’s mom) for scrambling to set up his crib for our surprise early arrival!)  What a champ!  We had such a good time with family and loved getting to see Conley with all his great-grands.  It was a mutual love affair for sure.

  

Speaking of sleep, one half of this duo is abundantly grateful for the full night’s rest we’re enjoying these days.  The one month hiatus he took from sleeping through the night seems to be a fairly common issue that babies have around 4 months of age.  Of course, it’s hard to keep that perspective in the middle of it (I was already imagining getting up in the middle of the night to tend to my needy toddler), but we’re just happy to be on the other side of it. 

Right before he started sleeping through the night again, he began rolling over to sleep on his tummy.  The blankets I wedged around his body were no match for his superbaby strength so I finally surrendered and let him sleep however he pleased.  At the same time, he was getting angrier and angrier with his double swaddle so we started the swaddle-weaning process (which made me feel better about tummy sleeping).  We’ve had one arm out for a couple weeks now and he loves it.  Sometimes he seems to be alright with both arms out and I’ll often find him that way in the mornings, but when he’s having trouble sleeping (like when he’s gotten overtired) he still needs at least one arm snugly restrained.

In addition to the ever-tasty rice cereal, Conley is now dominating avocado, sweet potatoes, squash and peas (oh, peas! his favorite!).  We started mashed avocado right at 5 months and made sure to take video of his first exposure, but it was surprisingly dull!  Sure, he was still figuring out the mechanics of eating, but he’s taken all the new flavors and textures in stride, gobbling up anything we put in front of him.  Hopefully his easy (if insanely messy) eating habits will continue indefinitely.

We moved from a 3 hour to a 4 hour schedule right before our trip to OK and that’s been mostly great.  His tummy is happier waiting 4 hours in between meals, however, his waketimes and naps are not quite there yet.  He’s still generally happier staying awake for an hour and a half and then napping for another hour and a half, which leaves us some time to kill before the next meal.  So we’re still ironing out the kinks, but it’s given us much more freedom to leave the house now that we have larger chunks of time to fill, and he’s gotten two tons easier to go out with.  In fact, sometimes I think he’s happier out of the house because he has new scenery and stimuli to enjoy.  So I try to oblige several times a week now that I’m not terrified of being screamed at by strangers in Target (true—that happened).

It’s been an eventful month around here and Conley continues to get more and more fun.  His smiles and laughs come easily now (as do his fake laughs and fake coughs ) and even sleepy bedtimes are becoming pleasant and fun.  One of my favorite times with Conley is rocking him before I put him down to sleep.  We’ve found a happy position that allows him to see what’s going on around him while gazing sleepily into my eyes and sometimes trading quiet giggles with me.  It is positively dreamy.  What more could a mom ask for?

I feel like I have to put “recipe” in quotes here because this feels less like a full-on recipe and more like a fortuitous conglomeration of ingredients that happen to be in the same bowl at the same time.  It’s like running into friends at Central Market and having a great, surprise dinner together.  Nothing planned or over-thought, just easy, accidental awesome.

I made a few changes, partially due to preference and partially just taking advantage of what I had on hand.  The “recipe” is flexible and happens to be vegetarian but would be delicious with the addition of a simply prepared protein, too.  It’s a pasta “recipe” but I subbed quinoa because I’m on a kick (and it’s a perfect protein!); I had spinach on hand, but I would like to try the arugula next time.  And finally, I sautéed my garlic for a few minutes, per many reviewers’ comments.   I also went super-heavy on the fresh ground pepper at the end and, probably thanks to the quinoa, the result was almost risotto-esque.

If you have any room in your heart for goat cheese, please make this.

Goat Cheese and Arugula over Penne

Ingredients

• 5 1/2 ounces goat cheese
• 2 cups coarsely chopped arugula, stems included
• 1 cup quartered cherry tomatoes
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 2 teaspoons minced garlic
• 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 8 ounces penne pasta (or 1 cup uncooked quinoa)

Directions

• Cook pasta in a large pot of boiling salted water until al dente.
• Crumble goat cheese into a large serving bowl. Add arugula, cherry tomatoes, olive oil, garlic, and salt and pepper.
• Drain pasta, and toss with goat cheese mixture.

I found the sweetest thing when I went to get Conley up from a nap recently.  Here he is on his tummy, peering over his bumper pad and between the crib rails to see who was coming to get him.  So cute!

I’ve often heard the expression that nothing humbles you like having children. I believed it before and I can attest to it now (why hello, breast pump). I’ve always thought of this humbling as an unintended consequence of parenthood, however, after 5 short months, I’ve come to realize that there’s nothing unintentional about it. Being a mom to Conley is surely part of God’s plan to make me little so Christ can be big in my life.

I am learning, one small decision at a time, what it means to lay down my life for another. When Conley wakes up early from a nap, eliminating the possibility of a nap for me, I can choose to be angry and resentful for the way my “rights” were trampled, or I can (sleepily) lay down my will and know that it’s just not about me anymore. (Of course it never really was, but it used to be easier to pretend.) When he’s screaming in the backseat and any hopes we had for a peaceful trip are dashed, will I sigh angrily, resenting the loss of our old normal, or will I embrace this new normal and my role as a supporting cast member?

The Lord certainly has his work cut out for him in my life, but my prayer is that through every abbreviated nap, every messy mealtime, every cacophonous road trip, I would be reminded that I am not the star of this show. Demanding center stage for the desires of my heart, while never pretty, has now been spotlighted as prideful, childish, and sinful. My job, inside and outside of motherhood, is to serve others like Jesus, and I can’t think of a better bootcamp for servanthood than this. I’m so glad I enlisted.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”
Matthew 16:24-25

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
Galatians 5:24

He must become greater; I must become less.
John 3:30

Obviously, I’ve been having way too much fun with Conley to sit down and write this post.  A good friend of mine said the other day that she’s loved every stage with her 2 year old daughter but she’s never regretted getting to the next one.  Well I know we’re still early in this raising-a-human process, but I would say the same thing about Conley.  I loved, loved, loved him in his tininess, but he’s becoming so much more interactive these days and just fun to be around! 

 

Long gone are the fussy, tear-filled (his and mine) nights of pulling our hair out in frustration and loading up the car in a desperate attempt at sleep.  We probably haven’t experienced that since month one or so and sometimes it’s hard to believe we’re living with the same baby.  Conley has become blessedly predictable when we keep to his 3 hour routine (eat, play, sleep, lather, rinse, repeat).  Any fussiness on his part typically means he’s ready for his nap, thank you very much, and although he usually protests his double swaddle, he’s often out like a light once he’s in his crib.  We’ve also had a big victory in the past month–Conley has stopped waking up early from his naps!!  This may not sound like a giant deal, but trust me, it is HUGE and makes an enormous difference in our quality of life around here.  He’s usually awake for an hour to an hour and a half and then sleeps the remaining hour and a half to two hours of the cycle.  Sweet, predictable bliss!

The trade off is that he’s stopped sleeping through the night–sad face!  I don’t know why it’s happening but after about a month of making it all the way through he started waking up again around 2:00 or 3:00am.  I don’t have the emotional fortitude to let him cry it out in the middle of the night yet, so I just get up and feed him.  On the one hand, I’m exhausted and know this isn’t sustainable in the long run, but on the other, if given the choice, I would rather spend 20 sweet minutes with Conley in the middle of the night than worry about him waking up tired and unhappy after 45 minute naps throughout the day.  And by the grace of God, I can actually say that the time we spend together at 3:00am is precious and I know I will miss it someday.  Those chubby, cherubic cheeks and sleepy, fringed eyes are rarely sweeter than during our late night feedings!

Our days are pretty fun-filled.  Conley’s getting pretty adept at the tummy-to-back roll and has just learned the back-to-tummy maneuver in the past week.  He loves to practice and seems so proud of himself after a good flip.   And while he’s not crossing the room just yet, I do leave the room now not knowing what position I’ll find him in when I return a few minutes later–fun!  He’s also just found his feet with his hands and is connecting that they belong to him–they’re no longer just random, disembodied objects occasionally floating through his field of vision.  I’m guessing they’ll be making the journey up to his mouth soon, assuming his long body has the flexibility.  He still loves standing and one of his favorite moves is holding onto my hands while I pull him into a standing position.  One of my favorite things is the way he’s beginning to reach his arms out for me when I go to pick him up.  I never would have imagined how these little developments would excite me!  We’ve also started rice cereal, but that’s another post of its own.  We’re about a week into it and he’s doing really well!  I love trying new things with him.

The three of us took a little road trip to a wedding in San Antonio at nearly 4 1/2 months.  We were blessed to be able to spend a relaxing night with friends in San Marcos to give Tiny C a break, but let’s just say he didn’t earn his Road Warrior merit badge that weekend.  I would say our biggest challenge right now is that he doesn’t sleep well (if at all) outside of a double swaddle in a crib.  This makes road trips tricky, not to mention the church nursery and even the grocery store if we happen to still be out when naptime rolls around.  Hopefully this is a stage he’ll grow out of with time and practice, but it sure is hard to want to practice when he and I both pay the price of breaking the schedule!  (I should note that there are times when he can push through without a nap like a champ, for instance when we took him out to dinner tonight–it’s just a toss up as to whether or not he’ll have a meltdown.)

At his four month appointment, Conley weighed 15 lbs, 11 oz, and was 26.5" long.  He’s starting to look like a tiny baby giant in his crib!  He lost his hair on top in some fine male-pattern baldness at about 2 months, but it’s since grown back thicker and lighter than before and is long enough for some supercute bed head now.  Some days we think his gray-blue eyes might be turning hazel, but other days we’re not so sure.  What is for sure is that he’s so beautiful it’s stupid!

I’ll leave you with this video.  We heard his first giggles just a few days before his four month birthday and there was never a sweeter sound!  He still makes us work for them, but it sure is worth the effort when he gets going!  Can you stand it??

Because what’s sweeter?

1 week

 

2 weeks

 

 
3 weeks

 

4 weeks
(Yes, it’s pink!  Thanks, A, for letting us test drive the swaddlepod!)

 

6.5 weeks
(Male pattern baldness coming on strong.)

 

7 weeks

 

10 weeks

 

11 weeks
(Favorite, obvs.)

 

 
14 weeks
(Makeshift hotel towel swaddle in progress. Result? Fail.)

UPDATE: I’m a little horrified that I may have given the impression that I was responsible for the nursery miracle below.  What I should have said was this: “If you need an upholsterer, call me.  I’ll give you Raquel’s contact info.”  Anyone who thought this could have been my handiwork is giving me waaay too much credit.

If you need an upholsterer, call me.  Brace yourself for a nursery miracle.

Before

 

After

How could the 3 month mark have come and gone already??

Conley continues to grow and change so quickly.  If I ever feel frustrated by a certain phase, I just have to remind myself that he’s changing so fast he’ll be on to the next thing before I know it. 

His biggest accomplishment to date, at least in my sleepy, new mom eyes, has been sleeping through the night!  This started two nights before his 3 month birthday and we’re up to a string of 7 nights in a row now—can I finally say this is more than a fluke?  Right now, sleeping through the night means he goes to bed around 8:30, I feed him again at 10:30 (he doesn’t really wake up for this), and then he wakes me up for breakfast around 7:00am or so.  I’m so proud of him!

I should point out that part of the reason he’s sleeping well is because we’ve had to start double swaddling him!  We start with the miracle blanket, which contains his arms pretty well, and then top it off with the Woombie, which keeps his flailing legs in check.  We struggled and fought with all the other swaddling options before coming up with this trick.  I’m so glad it works! 

Conley weighed about 14.5 lbs on his 3 month birthday and is growing out of new outfits every day.  He gives fantastic, wet kisses, opening his mouth and sticking out his tongue when the mood strikes.  I cannot get enough sloppy kisses!  He is grinning like a fool and I keep waiting for a giggle to spill out, but we haven’t heard it quite yet.  He’s mastered the motorboat sound and loves trading slobbery sound effects with a willing partner.  He’s recently moved on to squeals, which delights everyone in range!  His happy, ear-piercing squeaks are so precious!  I feel like he’s replaced a lot of his crib fussing with happy squeals and babbles, which is a sweet sound to wake up to in the morning.

He started cutting a bottom tooth around 2.5 months and I think he might have two coming in now, so that’s been a big surprise for us.  So far, I can’t tell that he’s had any discomfort from them.  He was already a prodigious spitter but he’s now added drooling to his repertoire so that pretty much guarantees he’s either crusty or naked most of the time.  We just roll with it!

He visited the church nursery for the first time a few days after hitting 3 months.  He wasn’t even out of my arms yet before he was smiling at the nursery workers!  I got called down to check on him about an hour later, but they had gotten him calm before I even made it to his room.  Eventually, they swaddled him and he fell fast asleep—good boy!  I’m sure it was harder on me than on him.

Conley and I took a trip to Waco right at the 3 month mark to meet Emily and her sweet Maesyn for lunch.  It’s the farthest he’s been from home yet and now I know why.   He slept most of the way to and from, but just could not settle down during lunch, leaving me looking all kinds of ridiculous in the restaurant as I tried every trick in the book to keep him at least semi-calm.

Maesyn shushing Conley

Still, this sweet smile outshines everything else!

Happy three months, Conley!  You are sheer delight!

Conley,

You are two months old today!

What a sweet guy you are!  You have really filled out since your one month appointment when you were so long and skinny.  You’re still quite long (and will surely one day be hunting for medium tall sizes, like your dad), but you finally have a little meat on those baby thighs of yours, and I sure do love your rolls!  You weigh about 12 lbs 11 oz.  You are busting out of your 0-3 month clothes; in fact, I just looked and was able to count each one of your toes pressing against the end of your little sleeper.  Probably time to graduate up!

And you’re strong!  You’ve been rolling over for a couple weeks now!  You started off rolling from your tummy to your back, and lately, your "tummy time" often consists of me placing you on your tummy, you flipping right over, and me turning you back again and again.  About a week ago, you started rolling over in your swaddle from your back to your stomach.  This is only when you get really frustrated and worked up, but we’ve had to start wedging blankets around your little body in your crib to keep you on your back.  Your suddenly muffled cries gave us quite a scare for a little while! 

This super-baby strength of yours is probably also why you’re such a good crier!  Everyone likes to praise your well-developed lungs and we have it on objective authority that your cries make other babies’ cries sound like lullabies.  Fortunately, you’re regaling us with your screams less frequently as you get older and we get (a tiny bit) wiser.  We’re learning so much about what you like and need each day.  You’re on a 2.5 – 3 hour eating schedule except at night when you’ll go anywhere from 4 – 8 hours between meals.  I typically only have to get up with you once for a middle of the night feeding, except on rare occasions, and you almost always go right back down without a peep–such a good boy!  Then again, that has pretty much been your way since you were just a few weeks old–I’m so thankful for our quiet nights! 

You’re a terrific eater and it’s the one thing that will always, always, always settle you down when you’re really upset.  Your patience stretches thin pretty quickly when you get hungry, too–you definitely take after me and not your dad in that way!  No forgetting meals for you!  Your contentment and sweet expressions make feeding one of my favorite times with you.  We also have some great talks when you finish!  You love to lay on your back and babble and coo when you have a full tummy.  You’ve been so much more vocal in the past couple weeks and we can’t get enough of your sweet sounds!  Along with your coos, you’re also gracing us with your darling smile!  This started very slowly a couple weeks ago and was just an occasional break in your seriousness, but now you are smiling more and more each day.  And goodness, that dimple of yours is unbearable!

Although there are moments when I’d like to stop time and not let you grow one more ounce, you are certainly getting better with age, sweet Conley.  Happy two months, tiny, little love!

Welcome to the world, sweet Conley Monroe!
Born March 4, 2011 at 6:04am
9 lbs. 2 oz.
20.5″ long

For those of you who don’t know the significance of his name, Conley was my granddad’s first name, which then got passed down as my dad’s middle name, and subsequently my nephew Jeb’s middle name.  Before we knew if we were having a boy or girl, Kendrick and I had a never-ending list of girl names, but the boy side of the list consisted of Conley and maybe two other contenders.  After the big reveal, Conley just seemed to naturally pull ahead and in the end it felt like no choice at all–it was obvious.

Similarly, his middle name has a heritage, too.  Monroe is Kendrick’s middle name, his dad’s middle name, and his great uncle’s first name.  It was a foregone conclusion that if we had a boy, he would be a Monroe.

I love the idea of passing down a legacy in the form of a name, and honoring some of my favorite men in the world.  It also means our little C has some awfully big shoes to fill.  What a challenge and privilege for us as parents to help guide him in that path…!

We received a picture frame with the sweetest quote on it as a gift at a baby shower.  I tear up every time I read it or think about it, so it’s something I call to mind often in the middle of his formidable torrents–it truly gets me every time.  “We loved you before we knew you; even when there was just the hope of you – we loved you.“  It never fails to remind me of what a priceless gift we’ve received and how precious it is that the Lord chose us to take care of this little baby lamb of His.  Sure makes the crying and wailing (and oh, there is wailing) a little easier to bear.

We loved you before we knew you, Conley, and we are so, so blessed to get to know you more every day.